Okay this concerns me a little bit. We can see what people put into search engines to get to us. Whoever typed in little children suck dog needs to never come here again. Ew.
Entries from March 2008
March 28, 2008
Spam: Resurrection.
So it’s been awhile since I perused the clusterfuck that is my spam folder. I found some pretty horrifying, as well as pretty hilarious, emails. Enjoy.
Name: Ruthie Gibbs
Selling: Viagra from Mexico.
Why God: Who better to push illegal Viagra then a Grandma? They know their flaccid penises better than any of us.
Name: ASBESTOS!!!@!!
Selling: H@rny [...]
March 27, 2008
Fuck you scene kids
Today Is: Urinal Appreciation Day
I’m so sick of scene kids. Seriously. “Oh yeah, that band? Fuck you I’ve been listening to them before I was born. Yeah, I had my ipod in the womb. Now let me put more eyeliner on and mosh like a retarded monkey”.
What brings me to this is that I keep [...]
March 23, 2008
Doomsday is upon us!
Today Is: Melissa Rohs Appreciation Day
This is a short synopsis of the film Doomsday that I wrote on Facebook.
Doomsday was awesome. Not because it was good or anything, but because it was like watching 5 movies in one. It starts out like a generic zombie movie with an outbreak of some terrible plague. To stop [...]
March 22, 2008
Thank you, Cornell.
Today Is: Seal Awareness Day. Become aware of our mildly adorable marine friends today
More hilarity from the Cornell College newsletter. This will be very helpful if and when a tornado comes down:
In the event of a severe weather warning, students should take the following precautions:
Move to inner hallways or inner stairwells, [...]
March 21, 2008
Fuck sports.
Today Is: Teenager Day, and also Single Parent Appreciation Day. What idiot put these two on the same day. Teenagers and Single parents fucking hate each other.
I usually begin these rants in my head with the question, “Who invented ____ anyway?? Kill them.” But today I would like to expand my thinking to answer the [...]
March 21, 2008
Students are advised to be watchful and report any suspicious activity.
ThThe above was in an e-mail from Cornell regarding Spring Break precaution. What I want to know is this: why aren’t we reminded to do these very things in any case?? Cornell College is, after all, a sketchy place. The admissions staff likes to go on and on about how we’re on the National Historic [...]
March 16, 2008
Things That Amuse Me
Today Is: Lip Appreciation Day. Men and women will be appreciating two very different sets of lips on this day.
I think i saw this on HBO at one point…at like 2 am.
March 14, 2008
Coming soon to a theater near you
Today is: Kidney Appreciation Day
The following, taken from a NY Times movie review of Horton Hears a Who, is all the incentive I need to see this movie:
“All kinds of extraneous elements are added to the story. The Mayor of Who-ville, voiced by Steve Carell, is a beleaguered dad who has trouble communicating with his [...]
March 13, 2008
Awkward Women
Today is: Hug a Girl Scout Day (Be careful celebrating this one)
I’ve realized recently that I have a soft spot in the musical part of my heart for women with unconventional voices. Regina Spektor, Kate Nash, K.T. Tunstall etc. Why? I have no idea. Maybe because I have a goofy voice myself, so I’m [...]
