What the Hell?

Internet Capers

Today I decided to embark on a mission.  A mission that you could only even begin to think up while sitting on your bed in panties and a tank top at 5pm on a Sunday.  I decided to find a picture.  A picture that, if found, would be very dear to me.  I wanted a [...]

Ew.

Okay this concerns me a little bit.  We can see what people put into search engines to get to us.  Whoever typed in little children suck dog needs to never come here again. Ew.

Spam: Resurrection.

So it’s been awhile since I perused the clusterfuck that is my spam folder. I found some pretty horrifying, as well as pretty hilarious, emails. Enjoy.
Name: Ruthie Gibbs
Selling: Viagra from Mexico.
Why God: Who better to push illegal Viagra then a Grandma? They know their flaccid penises better than any of us.
Name: ASBESTOS!!!@!!
Selling: H@rny [...]

Fuck you scene kids

Today Is: Urinal Appreciation Day
I’m so sick of scene kids. Seriously. “Oh yeah, that band? Fuck you I’ve been listening to them before I was born. Yeah, I had my ipod in the womb. Now let me put more eyeliner on and mosh like a retarded monkey”.
What brings me to this is that I keep [...]

Things That Amuse Me

Today Is: Lip Appreciation Day. Men and women will be appreciating two very different sets of lips on this day. 

I think i saw this on HBO at one point…at like 2 am.

Awkward Women

 Today is: Hug a Girl Scout Day (Be careful celebrating this one)

I’ve realized recently that I have a soft spot in the musical part of my heart for women with unconventional voices. Regina Spektor, Kate Nash, K.T. Tunstall etc. Why? I have no idea. Maybe because I have a goofy voice myself, so I’m [...]

Spam 2: the Showdown

Name: Merlin Todd
Offer: Honestly I have no idea.  He was speaking in wizard I think.  I’ll copy the email and you can try to decipher it.  In the subject though, he does promise “I’ll be waiting”.  I couldn’t decide if this was a promise or threat.
I also know this too,beautiful tits that makes u satsified [...]

Spam

As someone who gets hundreds of emails each day that can be classified as spam, I’ve developed an interest in the people behind them. I feel like it would be wrong to write them off. Each must have a story, a history. What were their dreams? What drove them to the shady [...]

Daylight Savings

Today is: Festival of Life in the Cracks Day
Who the fuck invented daylight savings? Did some group of men with beards get together some time in the 1700’s and talk about how to fuck with the peasants? Did Sir Tool stand up and go, “I say, wouldn’t it be most exhilarating to force [...]